A memorable journey ....

Sometimes my mind wonders, what would have happened if everything around us were just and there were no disparity. Or in short what if the world was in fact, "ideal".

I was traveling in a general compartment of an express train. I was going to Jamshedpur from Durg(my home town) for some work. The journey was overnight - 12 long hours in a jam packed compartment. The coupe in the which 8 people are expected to sit was clustered with more than 20-25 people and along with that there was also a varied assortment of luggage .Its not like I have never traveled in general compartment before. But a 2-3 hour journey along with friends is entirely different from an overnight journey, on a cold December night, alone...

I can still remember my father's face when he came to drop in the railway station, confused and worried. Numerous times before he asked me reconsider my decision of going by a general boogie . "Can't you go there next week. I think whatever work you have, can wait for a few days". But only I knew, how badly I had to go.

"Are you sure", he asked me for the last time before i boarded the train. I just gave a silent nod. I too was pretty nervous. "I have to go", i reminded myself and boarded the boogie.

After I entered, i was rejected by every eye that saw me. "Not Here" "Somewhere else" "Go back to where you came from" , eyes say a lot. All those who were sitting in 'relative comfort' were looking down disdainfully at me. "I came here first. ha ha ha ha. i will relish the comfort of sitting down in the seat and you will STAND". I felt like a stranger who's getting drenched in the rain and nobody would take him inside shelter.

Ahh!! Suddenly the corner of my eye got struck with six inches of space.Free Space!! The place was perfect!! If I could just keep my suitcase parallel to that place , I would get myself a seat. And the timing was great too, the person sitting just beside was falling asleep. "Make hay while the sun shines", I thought. I executed my plan with perfection, and there I was , sitting comfortably. Too amused and proud before I realized that not one second before 12 noon tomorrow will be freed from this place.

You know the thing with seats, you can never be comfortable in any seat in the world, at least for the whole night. At 5 am next day, after merely 5 hours of semi-sleep I was up. I looked around, people in the compartment were the same in number if not more. There was no question of freshening up, If I even stand my seat will be taken. I just sat there longing to be in my warm comfortable bed. "I choose this", a voice inside me said. I knew the voice was right.

And it was then when it started, the vendors.... "Chaiiiiiiiiii garammm" "Thanda pepsi paani botaalll". There was no space for them to walk, even stand. But somehow they managed to go back and forth in the compartment. And Once it started it never ended. The vendors keep coming and going, selling all kinds of stuff.

Trying to remain nonchalant , I scanned my coupe to look around and see if there was someone whom i could talk to. Sitting silently in a very uncomfortable position, with half the ass hanging outside can be a very tedious thing. The train was going to kolkata, so as expected the compartment was full of bengalis. I have nothing against the bengalis, in fact i love the language, i think it is sweet. But why do they have to be so LOUD and CRANKY ? Always...

I felt a bit relieved when i found myself surrounded by a rustic Muslim family in my coupe. The family had three children two boys and one girl, who all were sitting on the top berth. The family also had a very arrogant father, a rather docile mother and two more old ladies. A vendor passed by shouting and selling some namkeens. The children in the upper berth almost immediately wanted those. After few requests their father bought them the namkeens but he bought only two packets and handed it over to the boys. The poor girl couldn't take her eyes off the namkeens. Her brothers were nice enough and they offered her some.

Suddenly, I heard loud shouts in bengali. And as i suspected, someone took another person's seat when he went to the bathroom. I had made my peace with the fact that if i have to go to the bathroom, loosing my seat is the small price i have to pay. The kids above were having a treat. Who wouldn't want to see a dog fight for free, when you have absolutely nothing to do. People in the vicinity were trying to appease both, but all the efforts were futile. Self righteously the person said in bengali , "how dare you sit on MY seat ,when you know i have kept my handkerchief there". What the other person said made no sense but still for the sake of shouting he kept on rambling "no- not possible" , in bengali. Things went out of hand, suddenly a tea vendor came out of nowhere and got strangled in the feud. The tea kettle that he was holding was dangling. "SPLASH". The fight finally ended with tea all over the place.

After another eventful hour things were finally in order. Another vendor came around selling "lassi" this time. The father generously bought two of them and gave it to the boys. Quite indifferently. The seeing the girl's reaction, I could tell that this has become an established thing for her. I felt very bad for her."Why?", I thought. This time I spoke for the first time ."Kitne saal ke hain bachchhe ?". They all looked surprisingly at me, as if I have asked for a ransom of ten lakhs. The mother said "Boys are 6 and 8, the girl is 9". I then asked "Tabyat thik hai kya bachchhi ki?". The father looked angrily at me and said "Kya matlab ?". "Kuch kha nahin rahi hai na", was my reply. No body said another thing after that.

Meanwhile were this two people who were discussing aloud in bengali on the side berth, about how should the government run. And how the incumbents have not done anything for them. For another half an hour they went on about how the government is increasing the petrol prices and stuffing their pockets with the difference . "I know from a close relative of the minister, that the government is exporting agricultural produces of poor farmers to foreign country and the profit is shared among the ministers", one said. If only I could stand up and shout at their faces to shut up. But who am I after all and what did I do to earn the right to shut their mouths?

Another vendor came by this time who was selling cheap ice candies. The father after a bit of pushing by the kids agreed to buy them the ice candy. "Teen dena yaar", he said and looked fiercely at me as if he has won a battle in kargil. I too gave him an approving look. But there was a mishap! The youngest lad dropped his ice candy and began to cry. His mother stood up abused him and bit him. Obviously he started crying even louder. His mother took the candy from the girl and gave it to him. She dint even think twice, it came very naturally to her. This act of hers seemed extremely unjust to me."Why the poor girl always", with this thought came a furious vibe in my belly. I wanted to do something symbolic, which would teach her parents a lesson.
I left my seat went behind the ice candy vendor. After crossing an arduous 5-7 m, i bought an ice candy.

When i came back my seat was obviously gone, but I handed her the candy. I felt so content. I knew I did a good thing. I was a modest hero. Or at least thats what I felt.I soon realized that I was a fool.

Seeing my action the father went berserk. "How dare you give our daughter the ice candy"."I wouldn't have ,if you would have given her yourself"."Do you think we mistreat her",he said sanctimoniously. The father held my shirt at this point and aimed a fist at me before I was rescued by the people sitting near by. Everyone told me not to get into their private matter.

Is everyone missing the point here. "I am so right",and I really felt I was. But then I looked at the girl. She was terrified, still holding the ice candy in one hand. For her I was the stranger who was attacking their parents pride and humiliating them in front of every one else.
And most importantly, SHE was the reason. After looking at her eyes, I knew that I had committed a mistake.

Of course they loved her, she is their daughter. Perhaps she would continue to live the way she is living right now, deprived. By giving her an ice candy, I can neither change her destiny, nor her parents opinions. But still afterwards, when I saw her savoring that ice candy, i think all I did was justified.

Sometimes my mind wonders, what would have happened if everything around us were just and there were no disparity. Or in short what if the world was in fact, "ideal". Why couldn't it be? I think because it has continued to be so.

I had to stand for the rest 3 hours of the journey in a different coupe looking at different people,
everything they spoke was as cacophonous as a fish-market to me. This strenuous journey was for a reason. And that I was traveling towards that reason by more than 60 kmph :) .

After reaching the jamshedpur railway station, I came out and it felt as if i woke after a bad dream, a weird dream. I took an auto rickshaw to my destination, he overcharged me but i dint bargain. I just wanted to get out and be where I have to be.

After 15 min i finally reached. My girlfriend was waiting there for me, smiling. Seeing that smile was a reason good enough to bear all that went by. "How was the journey" , she said.

It was a simple enough question, but i was searching for an adjective that may epitomize my nightlong experience in one word, one line even. There were none.

"Fine", I said smiling back too happy to be standing there.